


accidents don’t just happen (accidentally)

by Moons-and-Glassware (PorcelainCas)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Humor, Literal Divine Intervention, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Post-The Blood of Olympus, Ridiculousness, Secret Relationship, pranks gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcelainCas/pseuds/Moons-and-Glassware
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone messes around with Aphrodite’s sacred bow and the wrong son of Apollo falls in love with Nico di Angelo. Whoops. It was an accident!</p><p>Or where Octavian turns his heart-shaped eyes onto Nico, Will didn’t need any ‘Arrows of Love’ in the first place thank you very much, and Nico is just creeped out by the whole ordeal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. wherein Octavian is lovestruck

**Author's Note:**

> Title is an infamous quote from Supernatural's Dean Winchester.
> 
> AU where Octavian is alive after BoO. I took creative liberties with Aphrodite's item, so if she actually has a canon item I don't recall, it is not the same as the one here.
> 
> I don't know how this happened this is literally just crack

This has got to be the weirdest thing to ever happen to Will.

It started off like this: Will was in the Hades cabin helping Nico redecorate the place and spice it up a bit so it no longer looked like a vampire’s funeral home. They were alone, and having a great time ‘redecorating’ (Fine – that was a lie he was using to fly under the radar, shut up.) until someone starting banging on the cabin door and yelling for them to get out of there.

Nico and Will jumped apart, their eyes wide and both out of breath. They looked at each other, and Nico furiously tried to flatten his hair so it looked less like they were making out for the past twenty minutes. Will on the other hand flashed him a sheepish grin and straightened his t-shirt and running his hand over his slick lips to rid himself of the extra sheen from their saliva. (So they weren’t the best kissers, who even cared.) They weren’t really hiding that they were in a relationship, but it seemed like people hadn’t noticed it yet and they didn’t want to make it such a big deal, and now they were more or less having a secret relationship and sneaking around to see each other under lame excuses. Nico stepped out of sight when Will opened the door before whoever was on the other side could bring it down with the obstinacy of their thumping. “What is it?” he asked without looking at the person, his voice coming out husky and sore. He coughed into the fist of his hand, clearing his throat as inconspicuously as possible.

He finally looked up from his hand to see who it was, and his eyes narrowed. “What do you want, Octavian?” His voice became less polite and his posture stiff with guardedness when he regarded the older demigod. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the Big House?” After the war, Octavian had been rightfully confined to places where other demigods could watch the creep at all hours of the day. He had a lot of penance to do after his actions during the war, and Will doubted he would ever earn back the trust and respect the other demigods once held him in. He quickly scanned Octavian’s vicinity, looking for other alert demigods but there were none. Everyone was conveniently absent. He could see a figure far off in the distance, but they were too far away to help if Octavian decided to be violent. Warning alarms went off in Will’s head and he gripped the edge of the door.

Octavian scowled at him, taking a single step forward. It was enough for Will’s hackles to rise, but not close enough that Will could scream an obscenity about Octavian being a trespasser slam the door in the anemic loser’s face. “This is the Hades cabin,” he said, managing to say Pluto’s Greek aspect without distaste in his tone, which was quite strange. “Why are _you_ here?” he sneered. The former augur’s hands were hidden behind the dirty toga he was wearing, and Will had a feeling he was sporting his favoured sacrificial knife in there.

“I’m helping redecorate,” he said slowly, the lie still managing to coax a blush out of him even though he was standing before his least-favourite half-sibling (or maybe quarter, since Octavian was birth from Apollo’s Roman aspect. Whatever it was, it didn’t make Will happy at all to call him his relative.).

Octavian scoffed. “Whatever kind of loser activity you’re doing, I’m not interested,” he said, despite having asked Will just moments ago. “I’m here to see Nico,” he declared, “I’m on official business. Now move out of my way and I’ll escort him to where he’s meant to be right now.”

Like most demigods with common sense, Will didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. “No,” he said, standing in the middle of the doorway. Octavian narrowed his eyes at him. While Will was healthier than Octavian by a long shot, the pale loser was older than him and possibly had a knife too. Still, Will wasn’t going to let his boyfriend alone with the creep.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Octavian said in a low voice and, expectedly, slid out the slender knife from under his toga. One would think he would have learned his lesson, but no, the guy was still at it with the threats and manipulations. Will glanced at the knife for a brief second before looking back at Octavian. While he didn’t want to let Octavian in, he also didn’t want to start an unnecessary fight with a guy known for sadistic urges.

“All right,” he said begrudgingly. “But I’m coming with you guys.” Before Octavian could protest, he called out, “Nico! _Someone’s_ here to see us.” At the cue, the son of Hades stepped out from the place he had disappeared to and walked to his place beside Will.

Nico frowned at the augur. “What are you doing here?” he asked coldly. His hand automatically drifted to his waist for his Stygian sword. “You’re not welcomed here.”

Octavian’s eyes went round, and he eyed Nico up and down appreciatively. Will fought the urge to step in front of his boyfriend like a territorial hound; Nico had been dealing with all sorts of monsters for the past few years, surely he could deal with Octavian by himself with Will looming over his shoulder.

The look was not lost on Nico and he gripped the hilt of his sword. “You’re hurting my feelings,” the augur said once he snapped out of his lustful gaze. To Will’s surprise, he actually did sound hurt, but he suspected that it was just because Octavian had played at deceitful for so long that it was second nature to him. “Nico,” Octavian whined, not sounding like his usual creepy self at all but like a completely different sort of creep. “You’re going to break my heart if you keep your cold attitude up."

Nico and Will exchanged bewildered glances before looking back up at Octavian. He had a coy expression on his face that did notsuit the augur _at all_. And it was frankly starting to get _really_ creepy. Will got the feeling that he wasn’t kidding and something was seriously wrong with the guy right now. Octavian, true to his nature, took advantage of their confusion and grabbed Nico’s hand, pulling it away from the hilt of his blade. It was a strange sight to behold: he was gripping Nico tightly in one hand and was holding a knife in the other. “Hey!” Will yelled angrily and yanked at Octavian’s hand. The augur was surprisingly strong and swift for his slender form, and Will ended up with a knife to his throat. The sharp metal was pressed neatly against his pulse point, and Octavian tilted his head to observe Will through crazed blue eyes. “You’re a psychopath,” Will said, barely daring to move in case Octavian proved his diagnose right and slit his throat.

The Roman ignored him and then turned his attention to Nico, who was frozen in his spot and staring at the knife in horror. “Come on,” he said to Nico, his voice saccharine in a genuine way. “Come with me, and nobody has to die today.”

“Nobody has to die today,” Nico repeated, finally snapping out of his surprise. It sounded like threat, and he glared at Octavian. “Let him go, and I’ll go with you.”

“Wait!” Will protested, but the pressure of the blade was already gone from his neck and Octavian was smiling gleefully at Nico. His grip was so tight on the boy’s wrist that Will was pretty sure he was cutting off his blood supply. “Stop! Octavian, what in Tartarus is going on?” he demanded, reaching out to grip Nico’s free hand. The son of Hades squeeze his hand and he squeezed back.

Octavian glanced from Will to Nico when he noticed their interlocked fingers. His eyes grew cold. “Get your hands off of him. Nico is mine,” he hissed. “I saw it in the augury and I felt it in my heart.”

Will couldn’t help the laugh that tore free from his throat. “Really? Are you claiming that you can give prophecies _and_ write poetry now? I didn’t even think you were gay!” The situation was just far too bizarre for him to take seriously. And from the utterly perturbed and muddled expression on Nico’s face, he was feeling the same thing.

Octavian took a step closer that was probably meant to be threatening, but Will just couldn’t even attempt to pretend he was sombre anymore. He fought back the laughter trying to break free. “I know there’s something between you two, and the gods don’t approve!” he said hysterically before jerking Nico forward harshly. The boy yelped and almost fell on his face. Octavian stepped in front of him and stopped his fall, wrapping his pale arms around Nico’s waist and pulling his other hand out of Will’s grasp. The sight was just too odd for Will to process it properly in his brain.

“Now I’ll be taking Nico on a romantic picnic,” Octavian declared in the same haughty tone he used back during the war to order other demigods around. “Don’t bother to interrupt our passionate trip or you’ll meet your fateful end with my blade.”

Will was about to take a step forward and stop the ridiculousness before it could continue any further, but Nico strained his neck around to give Will a meaningful look that stopped him on his tracks. _I’ll handle it_ , Nico mouthed to him, and Will gave him a slight nod of agreement. But that didn’t mean Will wouldn’t be alerting the other demigods on the development and tracking the two of them down.

Octavian smirked in triumph, taking Will’s silence as a victory. “Well I’ll be seeing you…later. Maybe Nico and I will be married in the eyes of the gods by then. May we have Aphrodite’s blessing,” he said, all starry-eyed and looking up at the sky as if he could invoke all the gods to bless the two with holy matrimony. Nico looked a little green in the face and tried to inch away from Octavian.

“That…would be interesting…,” Nico said cautiously. “I…would very much, um, appreciate it. A lot.” He looked at Will, who was torn between laughing until his sides hurt or punching Octavian in the face for daring to lay a hand on Nico.

Octavian looked at Nico tenderly and literally dragged the younger boy away without a backwards glance. Will, on the other hand, ran straight for the nearest demigod.

 

_A few hours earlier_

“Hey,” Connor said, nudging his brother lightly on the shoulder and pointing to the abandoned bow and sheath with a single arrow lying demurely in the attic of the Big House. “Do you think that’s made out of real gold?”

Travis looked over from the box he was digging through to examine the weapon. “Looks kind of fake, if you ask me.” However, he picked it up, weighing it in his hands. Connor inspected the arrows, and laughed out loud when he saw that the shaft was formed in the shape of an arrow. It was dulled at the end so it couldn’t cause any real damage.

“Oh man, this! This looks like a trashy Aphrodite get-up,” Connor said. “Do you think Drew would like this as a present?” he joked. The two of them cackled over the idea of giving Drew such a tacky weapon.

“Or maybe you could poke Octavian in the butt with this,” Travis suggested. Connor laughed, tipping the sheath over to examine the inner workings of it to determine its’ value. They weren’t really up here for jokes and giggles. Once in a while, some valuable things were dropped off at the attic, and the Stoll twins made it their business to snoop through it once a week. Chiron didn’t mind; it helped to keep the hoarding down.

“’…Pierce a son of Apollo…’ the rest is too scratched out to read,” Connor said. “Does that mean we’ll actually get to smack Octavian with this? You know, he really needs some retribution, and not in the community service way.”

Travis smiled and the both of them high-fived before heading downstairs with the fake weapon.

Unsurprisingly, the weapon turned out not to be fake, and not a weapon at all. The arrow bounced off of Octavian’s chest when they hit him with it. They had expected a scowl and some tantrum-throwing by the former augur, but his eyes only went wide, and he proceeded to knock his guards and the twins out by some sudden godly strength and escape the Big House.

Well, it’s only expected that love would give him strength.


	2. wherein Will is not amused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will prepares the cavalry in an attempt to control a love-crazed Octavian and they do way more standing around and talking instead of charging into front lines armed to the teeth. The others are suspicious of Will's motives and Percy is just confused. ("So _Octavian_ is his type?")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the mistake of reading Actual Fanfictional Literature (like...something that could seriously be called Fine Literature with a Nobel award stuck to it, but fanfiction - not even _just_ extremely well-written fic, but actual literature fic) before writing this chapter. It made me very anxious.
> 
> Tags updated. I forgot to mention this takes place before Leo comes back to camp, so Leo and Calypso (and Festus!) are absent.

“Wait, wait – slow down there for a second. So Octavian escaped and is also _in love_ with Nico? Nico di Angelo, the guy he _hates_? Are we talking about the same people here?” Percy looked utterly perplexed. “So _Octavian_ is Nico’s type? Really?” He made a look of distaste.

Will ran his fingers through his hair and gripped them tightly in an attempt to assuage his temper. The second time repeating the story was tolerable. The third time was just a bit irritating. The seventh time? Well, Will was kind of running low on patience right now. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm down. It would not do him any good if he flipped out. “Octavian is not Nico’s ‘type’, and yes,” he said in big exhale. “Octavian thinks he’s in love with Nico.”

Percy frowned again, looking deep in thought. “And how did this happen, exactly? I mean, didn’t we have five demigods guarding him? Now he’s off kidnapping Nico?”

“I don’t know,” Will said slowly through another exhale. “But I do know that Nico told me he could deal with it himself, though I think he might need backup in case Octavian goes out of control.” As much as Will hated to admit it, his whistling could only do so much damage to Octavian’s eardrums and it would probably just make him very, very angry. He didn’t really want to deal with an angry and starry-eyed Octavian.

“I say we smash the little punk. It’s time he gets what he deserves,” Clarisse finally said, and Will had to admit that it did sound like a good idea. He was about to voice his approval, but Annabeth stepped in to protest.

“We need to look at this logically,” she argued, looking around at the small gathering of demigods. “While I don’t like Octavian either, why would he suddenly be chasing after Nico? He made it pretty obvious that he hated him after the revelation of Camp Half-Blood when Percy was still at Camp Jupiter. This whole situation stinks of a certain goddess.”

“Hera?” Percy said, jumping the gun before he had time to think it thoroughly. “That cow goddess, _again_? No offense, but I’m kind of getting sick of her.”

“No, Seaweed Brain,” Annabeth said, her expression torn between irritation and adoration. “ _Aphrodite_. Or Eros. Take your pick.”

Just then, Jason and Piper came marching over to the group with Connor and Travis following them sheepishly. “The guards are recuperating from Octavian’s attack. These two insisted to come along. They said they had something to say to all of us,” Jason said, nodding in the direction of the twins who had the grace to look guilty.

Travis spoke first, eyes darting from one demigod to the other. “Look, it was just an accident. I’m sure we can fix this without getting angry, right guys?” he asked, looking around them with pleading eyes that spoke _please don’t assign us to cleaning duty for the next weeks._

Annabeth crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at the Stolls. “What did you guys do this time?”

Connor held up the small golden bow that he had been carrying. It was merely twice the size of his hand and gleamed when it caught sunlight. “We might have let loose an arrow at his chest when his attention was diverted?” When no one laughed and Annabeth’s expression turned stormier, he quickly went into defense. “It looked like it was just a novelty item! We didn’t know something like this was going to happen.”

“What exactly _did_ happen?” Travis asked carefully. “I mean, besides getting super strong for no apparent reason.”

“He’s taking advantage of a minor,” Percy said the same time Annabeth said, “He’s in love with Nico.” Annabeth glared at Percy and the son of Poseidon shrugged. “What? Nico’s fourteen, and Octavian’s what? Turning eighteen soon?”

“Actually he’s turning nineteen in a few months,” Jason corrected, which did nothing to alleviate the sudden nausea in Will’s stomach.

Percy nodded in Jason’s direction. “Exactly,” he said smugly.

“Now’s not the time to argue logistics,” Piper interrupted. She turned to face Will. “Where did Octavian go with Nico?”

“Octavian was headed to the forest for a picnic,” he said grimly. If it were any other person, Will would be ten times more wary since the forest was no place to play around alone. However, this was Nico he was talking about, and he trusted that Nico could take care of himself.

Clarisse let out a snort of a laugh. “A _picnic_?”

Will’s lips pulled into a thin smile. “Yeah, he’s trying to seduce Nico.” The words felt repugnant in his mouth. He failed miserably at trying not to imagine Octavian making more unwanted moves on his boyfriend.

“So he’s been shot with some…godly object that caused him to fall in love with Nico, which also acted as a strength potion. Is there anything else we need to know?” Annabeth summarized, looking around at the group. Her steel grey eyes landed on Will and stayed there, and he wondered if he was supposed to be saying something. She wasn’t a daughter of Athena for nothing – Will was sure that she knew something was going on between him and Nico. He shifted his feet uncomfortably and tore his gaze away from hers.

“He pocketed the arrow that hit him,” Travis piped in before Annabeth could single Will out. “If that’s helpful information at all.”

Clarisse grumbled, “Then we take the punk out, destroy the arrow, and see what happens. That’s as good as any plan we’ll ever get. We’re wasting daylight, and who knows what he’s doing to Nico? The kid can raise armies of undead, but he sure as hell doesn’t have experience with romantic fools.”

Will winced slightly at the comment and wasn’t surprised to see that Percy was wearing the same expression.

“How about we call my mom down instead?” Piper suggested. “Maybe she can deal with the problem and fix it without this unnecessary violence.”

“Uh, about that,” Connor began. “Besides her being a goddess and too important to humour us lowly demigods, but…well she probably wanted this to happen in the first place.” He quickly proceeded to explain the note about piercing a son of Apollo that the twins had perceived to be a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Will wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it. So maybe Octavian was _meant_ to be in love with Nico…then where did Will fit in the situation? This was starting to sound like a bad romance novel where Octavian and Nico were in a hate/love relationship and Will was just the side-boy who couldn’t take the hint.

Percy was the first to speak. “It figures; Aphrodite is also pulling this mysterious riddle-but-not-riddle stuff. She’ll probably think that this whole situation is the essence of true love.” He frowned, probably reminiscing his encounter with the goddess.

“I don’t think it’s the essence of true love, and I’d rather not stand around here and talk out mouths on. Let’s just get armed and go.” That was what he had been trying to do for the past twenty minutes. All they had wanted to do was stand around and talk. Maybe he should have gone to Clovis instead. He shuddered to think of what Octavian was doing to Nico now.

Heads turned to look at Will. “You’re right,” Piper said. “You can help by aiding those demigods with concussions curtesy of Octavian.” The charm-speak washed right over him without the effects sinking its’ hold onto him.

Will didn’t think he was a very aggressive person, but he wanted to start punching something at Piper’s words. Maybe an Octavian shaped punching bag would do, or better yet an actual Octavian for his punching bag. “No,” the son of Apollo deadpanned. “And seriously guys, if you’re not going, then I’m going alone. This –” He gestured to the circle of demigods “– is completely useless.”

Before Will could storm off and grab a bow and a sheath of arrows to take on a powered-up Octavian by himself, Annabeth called out to him. “Wait! Will, we’re coming. I have a game plan.”

He paused and then turned around. He didn’t think that his temper could run short so many times today. Calm down, he told himself. Listen to what she has to say. “All right, what is it? And I’m not sitting back and playing medic today.”

Annabeth exchanged a look with Percy who nodded before she proceeded into explaining the details of her plan to the group. When she was done, the others nodded and went to stock up quickly on supplies.

Frankly, Will would have liked to beat the little freak up, but this would do.

 

Piper fell into step beside Annabeth. “What’s up with Will?” she simply asked her. “I don’t know him that well, but he seems more aggressive than when he leads the sing-alongs during the campfire.” She winced, remembering when he led it a few nights ago. She still wasn’t sure how they hadn’t managed to attract monsters with the loudness of their ‘singing’, if it could have been still called that.

Annabeth’s lip quirked up on one side. “That’s his secret to tell…but I have my suspicions.” She turned to look at Piper with amusement in her eyes.

Percy’s head appeared at the doorway. “I heard you guys talking, and Will is _definitely_ more short-tempered than usual. Is something wrong? I have a feeling it’s something with him and Nico.”

Annabeth shrugged, pocketing her knife. At Percy’s words, Piper’s eyes widened in understanding and she mouthed ‘ _Oh_ ’ softly before a wide grin spread on her face.

“Seriously, what’s going on?” Percy complained, noting the expression on Piper’s face. “Why am I being left out in the dark?”

Annabeth patted Percy on the shoulder when she passed by. “All in good time, Seaweed Brain.”

 

_Somewhere, Now_

Aphrodite watched the television screen with boredom. Her latest human paramour was dozing at her side on the fancy hotel mattress. “The Olympus Channel is so _boring_ these days,” she murmured. “What of the drama? The heartbreak? The perfectly written tragedies?” The screen continued to play a typical angst-ridden story of a minor god and his lover who had their memories erased and she sighed, flicking her wrist and changing the channel.

The television screen now livestreamed the events at Camp Half-Blood. She saw a glimpse of a scene of Nico’s expression frozen in horror before it cut to Will’s determined expression and resolute stride. She instantly sat forward, enraptured by the events occurring on the screen. It was even topped with the words LIVE written in bold red on the bottom right of the screen.

“Now _this_ is what I’m talking about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you imagine Will aggressively leading the campfire sing-alongs though??


	3. wherein Nico regrets his decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico sees the error in his not-really arrogance, Octavian has had enough of the Greek scum messing with him, and Will and Nico share a heartfelt couple moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for non-consensual touching for both parties since Octavian's will has been manipulated
> 
> of course non-con is nothing to joke about and should be regarded upon very seriously. It was a mistake of mine to include it in a crack fic since it can be offensive to victims to see this in a fic that pokes fun at things. However, the non-con touching is at its barest minimum. I've put a warning here in case people want to be prepared and skip past it. I apologize for lighting non-con in this way.
> 
> so sorry for it being super late!!! looong stort short: i got really busy. unedited as of now because i am sorry for being late T.T

Things were not going the way he expected them.

Nico didn’t think that dealing with a lovesick Octavian was going to be a walk in the park, but he didn’t think it was going to be _this_ difficult.

Sure, the augur had shown off his sudden usual strength when he literally carried Nico off to the forest where they were to have their ‘picnic’, but Nico assumed that was only a by-product of their five year age difference and Nico’s own scrawniness. (It hadn’t bothered him when he was younger, but having such a good looking boyfriend really made him conscious of his non-existent abs – and no, Nico was never going to tell Will that he thought he was really good-looking.)

Octavian had conveniently set up a picnic site at the clearing by the river. The mat was torn in places and Nico was pretty sure that it was a faded banner of some sort, not a picnic mat. A strawberry picking basket was laid demurely on top. The augur lowered Nico down with surprising gentleness before eagerly sitting across from him and staring at him with unblinking blue eyes that were so different from Will’s.

“So…um, really romantic,” Nico began awkwardly, trying to distract Octavian as he concentrated on sending feelers out for long dead skeletons buried underground that he could use to his whim. There were a surprising amount of them in the forest, and Nico would have shuddered to even wonder about the fate that befell them if he weren’t so used to death. Will had ordered him not to use his power for a while but drastic times called for drastic measures. All Nico had to do was stall Octavian long enough to summon a couple of skeletons…then, well, he’d figure it out when he got there.

Octavian leaned forward so fast that Nico didn’t even have the time to back up. His hand grasped onto Nico’s wrist tightly and their faces were about an inch apart. “Do you know how much I’ve thought about you?” he said with a crazed look in his eyes. Nico fought the urge to shove him backwards. He tried for a smile instead, his muscles not quite listening to him and settling at a grimace instead.

“That’s…very flattering,” Nico said, looking down at where Octavian’s pale hand was gripping onto his wrist. He was surprisingly cold at touch for a son of Apollo, whereas Will was all warmth and vivacity…

“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?” Octavian suddenly said with a snarl. His grip tightened and Nico’s concentration on the undead snapped. He bit back a noise of pain and instead looked Octavian directly in the eyes. He would not let this man-boy demean him. Just as Nico was about to bite a retort, Octavian loosened his grip. “I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes wide in a way that made him look crazed. He appeared to be honest but his tone didn’t sound sorry at all.

Nico let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding and tried not to grit his teeth in frustration. “It’s fine,” he said shortly. Octavian was already a psychopath before this insanity started, now Nico had to be twice as wary of him. He pushed his power into the bones of the dead, feeling weaker and more light-headed by the second.

Octavian wasn’t satisfied with staring at Nico for the remainder of the time and pushed the basket of strawberries toward Nico. “Look, I got strawberries,” Octavian said, inching closer and closer to Nico. While he would have liked to move away, he feared that it would cut off his already weakening power again and decided to stay in his place. “They’re your favourite.”

Strawberries were most definitely not Nico’s favourite thing in the world, but by threatening look Octavian was sending him, Nico thought it would probably be best for him to agree.

“Ah, yes…thank you,” the son of Hades said carefully, trying to keep his tone light as the first undead warrior rose from their unmarked grave on the other side of the river behind Octavian. The undead demigod was still, waiting for Nico’s command as its’ fellow dead demigods rose. When the meager amount of three undead soldiers had arisen on the opposite bank, Nico felt his muscles grow lethargic and his mind hazier with each passing second.

Meanwhile, Octavian had scooped a couple of strawberries in his hands and was now suddenly kneeling in front of Nico. He shoved the strawberries right up Nico’s face. “Eat them!” he demanded, sounding more like a dictator and less like romantic fool.

“Really, I’d would rather not,” Nico said, eyeing the augur warily. He tried to keep his tone neutral, but he had a feeling that Octavian would force-feed him before he backed down. He brought a hand up and touched Octavian’s hand, gently bringing it down. He kept his touch light – almost like a lover’s caress, but really he would rather have as a little physical contact with Octavian’s cold skin as possible.

Octavian looked down at the strawberries for a second, seeming to contemplate whether he should cut his losses or force the strawberries down Nico’s throat. Nico immediately took this chance to send commands to his tiny not-army. _Get to Octavian. Restrain him. Knock him out if he gets violent._

The undead took one step forward…and collapsed into a pile of disintegrating bones. The ground seemed to rise up to meet the remains and everything was gone within seconds.

Nico could only watch, half in shock and half bitter about his wilting abilities. On the bright side, Octavian hadn’t noticed a thing and now had strawberry juices all around his mouth. “I taste-tested them for you,” he said once their eyes met. “That’s the greatest act of love I could have ever done! For I, Octavian of Apollo, would never have done this for any ordinary peasant.” Then, quick as a rattlesnake, Octavian yanked Nico forward into his palm full of strawberries. Nico didn’t even have time to cry out or stop him before he felt strawberry pulp mush against his mouth, his cheeks, his nose.

The boy jerked away immediately with a loud, “WHAT THE HELL, OCTAVIAN!” He proceeded to wipe the strawberry pulp away with his mouth, spitting and cursing out loud at the same time.

When he was done, he looked over at Octavian, suddenly aware that the augur had gone deathly silent. The blonde was sporting a wide grin, but his eyes were devoid of emotion. “You didn’t like it?” he questioned. “You didn’t like _my_ gift?”

This was going to get violent soon, Nico thought. He wasn’t scared of Octavian – the demigod who used others to do his bidding, but _this_ was a love-crazed overpowered Octavian. His best chance was probably to make a run for it. He slowly shifted his sitting position so he could get ready to run at a moment’s notice, but Octavian had his hand on Nico’s shoulder and was holding him down so hard that Nico could almost feel his bones crunching under the pressure. He bit back a noise of pain and was about to tell Octavian to stop when he suddenly heard loud voices heading their way.

“Let that poor kid go!” Clarisse’s voice rang out. Octavian and Nico both turned in the direction of her voice – only to see an unarmed daughter of Ares storming angrily toward the two of them.

“I am _not_ a kid,” Nico grumbled the same time Octavian yelled, “Leave us to be, you ungroomed barbarian!” Clarisse grew furious, yelling some unintelligible at Octavian before she charged at him, weaponless and all.

And that was when Will burst onto the scene.

Nico had never been so happy to see the other boy in his entire life. He could have run over there and kissed him stupid in front of all these demigods without a single care in the world. It didn’t matter that the two of them hadn’t announced that they were dating yet – Nico just wanted to hold on tightly to Will and shake off the feeling of Octavian’s crushing strength on his skin and the taste of strawberries in his mouth. He heard distant cries of “Will, wait!” and “That’s not going according to the plan!” but he ignored it.

Will took one look at the two of them and was upon Octavian within seconds. Somehow, the son of Apollo had managed to wrench Octavian’s hand away from Nico and have him with his face against the ground and hands behind his back. Nico was vaguely aware of Octavian screaming something into the dirt. “Don’t you ever touch my boyfriend again!” he said, and Nico could almost imagine a vein bursting on his temple. He yanked something out of the back of Octavian’s toga before leaving the augur to scream muffled obscenities at them.

Before Octavian could even move, Clarisse was upon him, securing the screaming augur in his place. Octavian jerked his arms spastically but was no match for the daughter of Ares.

It was then that Nico noticed Percy standing there in front of them. He must have ran after Will when the son of Apollo snapped and was now staring at them with widened green eyes and an agape mouth. It was then that Nico realized Will had outed them, and he fought the urge to blush.

“Percy. Greek fire,” Will demanded, holding out the item he had removed from Octavian. It was a slim golden arrow, the shaft formed into a shape of an arrow. It was such an odd novelty item that Nico couldn’t help staring at it in confusion and wondering why Octavian would have this at hand.

Percy had been holding a small container of Greek fire in his hands. Before he could give it to Will, a strong chimerical female voice called out, “HALT!”

They turned to face the newcomer, and Nico was greeted by the sight of Piper looking exasperated and standing beside a beautiful woman…who for some reason looked exactly like Will with feminine features. Immediately, he knew it was Aphrodite, and suddenly figured that this whole thing was probably a setup for her own entertainment. He suddenly grew angry, but Aphrodite spoke again in that harmonious voice of hers and Nico forgot the reason for his anger.

“Now, boy,” she said, looking over at Will with a serene smile. “Hand over that arrow and I’ll fix it up for you. Blowing up a goddess’s blessed item will do you no good.”

The hand that was holding the arrow trembled, obviously resisting the urge to return the arrow. If Piper’s charm-speak was hard to resist, then no one stood a chance against Aphrodite. Nico himself felt the urge to snatch the arrow and return it to the goddess with each passing second.

Will involuntarily took a step forward and stopped himself for a moment. “Then why leave it lying around in the attic, anyway?” he said, gritting his teeth.

Aphrodite put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “The Olympus Channel is boring sometimes, what can I say? And I thought one more tiny little trial might help Nico really discover what true love is.” She sighed dreamily, waving her hand in the air.

“Mom…” Piper said the same time Percy coughed awkwardly.

“I don’t _need_ another trial,” Nico said, feeling his anger rise up again. “Can’t it be a trial enough that I’m…gay?” The word was difficult to get out, but he somehow felt relieved to say it after keeping the words lodged in his throat for so long. It was almost like lifting a crushing burden from his shoulders and now he wanted to get all up in Aphrodite’s face and scream, “I’m gay and don’t give a damn what people have to say about it!”

Aphrodite sighed dramatically. “Oh, but these kinds of love story can be so heart-wrenchingly _beautiful_ : the struggle, the pain, the desperation, the dedication.” She fanned herself with her hand before returning to her normal serene state. “But I suppose these kinds of things are only ever looked at as friendship with a same-sex couple in an era like this. How disappointing.”

Will ignored her outpouring emotions. “The arrow,” he began, narrowing his eyes at the goddess. “The Stolls mentioned that there was something written on it – something about this arrow being made for a son of Apollo. Does that mean that Nico and Octavian…” He paused, eyebrows furrowed and lips formed in a shape of a frown. Nico knew he was upset and he could barely stop himself from reassuring the other boy that he would never _ever_ fall for anyone the way he was fallen for him.

Aphrodite’s lush red lips pulled up into a smile. “Maybe I’ll be leaving you for that to figure out. Love isn’t about the goddess of love telling you what to do – you’ll have to figure that out by yourselves.”

Nico vaguely noted Percy looking from him to Octavian and looking extremely uncomfortable and freaked out.

“But we have it figured out! We don’t need this…,” Will gestured around at everyone loosely, “…this kind of _drama_.” His tone had lost its earlier vigour, and the boy seemed almost tired.

A pout seemed to appear on her lips for a second before she continued. “Fine. Love can’t form when both parties refuse. No matter! Since you don’t like this love story then I suppose I’ll have to spin away on another same-sex couple somewhere in America. Goodbye, demigods, and remember to stay wonderfully in love!” Then she turned to look at Nico and Will conspiratorially. “You do realize, that some mortals see my form as the features of someone that they think is the most beautiful?” She winked at them and Nico immediately flushed red. With those words, Aphrodite waved a hand and the golden arrow and bow appeared in her hand and vanished without even a warning.

Clarisse was distracted enough that Octavian was finally able to jerk free. His crazed eyes landed on Nico and Will. “You!” he hissed angrily, and Nico was afraid for a second that Octavian was still in love with him. “Gah! I can’t believe what that… what that Greek witch did to me!” He scratched at his arms and face.

Piper had stalked over to his side and grabbed the bicep of his arm. “Hey, that ‘Greek witch’ is my mom, you know,” Piper said darkly. “And you’re going to go through some extra repentance for escaping _and_ harassing a minor.”

“But it wasn’t me!” Octavian protested. “It was the twins! They started this.” He looked over at Nico and shuddered again. “To think I laid hands on a son of _Hades_ of all the people in this world,” he muttered.

“The twins are getting punished too,” Annabeth said, appearing at his other side to grip his other bicep. “Now, we’re going to think of something extra creative for you to do…maybe cleaning the Pegasus stables?” With matching grins that were almost wicked, Annabeth and Piper dragged a screaming Octavian back to the Big House.

While they were leaving, Will turned to look at Nico with sad eyes like a puppy that had been kicked. He put a hand on Nico’s waist lightly like he was afraid the other boy would shrink back from his touch. Nico welcomed it by stepping closer and wrapping his arms around Will, soaking up his warmth. He shivered.

Will spoke first. “You heard what she said… I might not be a good match for you. I mean… I’ll try, but she’s a _goddess of love_. I really can’t compete with that.”

Nico pulled away and looked at Will in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? I thought you were the positive one.” Will’s eyes still looked sad, and Nico found himself impulsively leaning forward and planting a quick kiss on his lips. “She never said _that_. She was just trying to force Octavian on me so that there was a love triangle fest. ‘Love can’t form when both parties refuse’. That was me and Octavian, not you and me.” He smiled a little bit. “But honestly, from the sounds of what happened – I think that arrow was meant for you. But there’s one flaw in that.”

“What is it?” Will asked, seeming considerably brightened by Nico’s words (and his kiss, probably).

“We’re already, you know… Um, we like each other,” Nico said, a blush staining his cheeks with how embarrassing it was to say that. Will only smiled and held onto Nico and buried his face in the hollow of his neck so that they were embracing tightly.

Percy and Clarisse, who had been waiting to escort the two lovebirds out of the forest looked at each other awkwardly. “I didn’t know,” Percy said lamely to her in an attempt not to feel like the third and fourth wheel. (Or the training wheel – actually Percy sure as hell felt like he was Nico’s training wheel.)

Clarisse rolled her eyes and shook her head at him.

Will on the other hand, pulled away and smiled at Percy. “We’ve both gotten great catches,” the son of Apollo said, his delirious happiness from just holding onto Nico and being kind of out and official making him thoughtless in his words.

“Come on, let’s get back to my cabin,” Nico said, tugging at Will’s camp T-shirt, and the two stumbled back to the cabin while their chaperone followed awkwardly until they couldn’t take the PDA from the two any longer.

 

_Later_

Octavian scrubbed viciously at the ground of the Pegasus stables, a grumpy frown on his face as he murmured curse words under his breath. He wasn’t watching where he was going and bumped into someone, causing him to fall sideways into a bucket of Pegasus manure. Octavian cursed out loud. “This is not a job fit for someone like me!” he was screaming.

Connor, whom he had bumped into, looked over at the former augur half in amusement and half apologetically. “Well we can’t always get what we want, _right_ Octavian?” He winked and shot him a thumbs up through the gloves, obviously trying to remind him of the fiasco that got him into this mess. Octavian’s usually pale face turned red with anger and embarrassment.

_“SHUT UP!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! I may expand on this verse in the future because I am the small minority that loves Octavian. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are warm little fuzzies. I would be ever so grateful if you left them here. uwu


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